Just wanna send you a big hug, from one cutter to another.

People will never accept is, as it's a maladaptive coping strategy. "Cutting is not a life choice, it is a coping strategy"

Through CBT and DBT and other therapy, you can find 'healthier' ways to handle problems and feelings.

I feel the same way about cutting as you do I think. However I am actively trying to deal with my issues and dramas and crap, and use other dumb coping mechanisms to try and avoid getting out my sharps. :/

Im trying to get better, or be at least 'managed' (lmao) with my BPD and learn all the stuff they teach me.

'When the student is ready, the teacher will come.' Very true. I had to change my whole way of thinking before I was ready to learn and try to change. And it's ****ing hard work. It's retraining the brain.

I am an addict, and used pain pills, valium and booze to numb out the issues and feelings, and I know how bad this can get, so I know how badly I need to change.

I hope you can get to the point of less cutting. It's just another addiction, we go back to it because it feels good, and works - every time. Whereas journaling, meditation and breathing aren't a gauranteed. BUT - if you commit to trying a 'healthy' strategy before cutting, perhaps you can reduce it a bit?

I know I've gone off topic from your post, but I just wanted to share with you what *I* have learned on the long path I've embarked upon.

*HUGS*