Quote:
Originally Posted by Yearning0723
But I guess that's the thing for me, because if it is such a normal, valid, appropriate need to have, then why can't T fill it? (I know, the answer is that she has her own boundaries for her own well-being and she has the right to that...but the incongruence is troubling...but I guess it's just something that I either have to deal with or decide this T isn't for me.)
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These needs that weren't met at the appropriate time, in childhood, even tho they're valid .... they left a hole that can never be filled. That train has left the station, as my T puts it, rather coldly, I think.
Your T can never fill that void, or anyone else. Because it's too late. Our only hope is to recognize what's going on, and be able to accept the love that IS available to us, rather than discarding what we actually have because it's not enough. IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. We need to let go of that unfufillable need and accept what we can get in the here and now.
Sorry if I sound so opinionated. I'm dealing with this in my therapy right now and this is what I'm working on, and my T agrees. And it's damn tough. I'm not at all happy about it, but it feels right. Just wanted to share in case any of this makes sense to you.