Hey there. Sounds like you're going through a really rough time I feel like it might be best to at least try to seek help. I know I sat in my school's office 3 days in a row before I got the guts to actually walk in and talk to someone but let me tell you it really does help. It took a bit but counseling and medication are what I'm on and I've been feeling a lot better than I had before.
Do you have a family member or relative that you do feel comfortable sharing with? They can try and direct you to someone who isn't part of the school that can help.
I'm so sorry that you feel cornered right now but please know that you can talk to us too