I am very sorry to hear that you are facing these challenges, and I hope that your husband is receiving excellent professional help.

Approx. 6 months ago, I became the primary caregiver to my partner, after he suffered a traumatic accident. A few months of dealing with the acute injuries and a puzzling post-concussive state, and I thought I'd be able to take a breather. He has now been diagnosed with PTSD, and so much of his behavior, his moods, and my difficulty connecting with him, now make much more sense.

The diagnosis, however, does not help to soothe my frequent feelings of helplessness and of being overwhelmed; it is so difficult to watch your loved-one suffer, and PTSD can affect all aspects of their life and yours. I did not know of caregiver fatigue until this chapter of my life, and as a nurse I imagine that you may understand it better than most. If you feel that you need help, please do not hesitate to reach out to your friends and family, or to seek support from local resources. I arrived at these forums because I realized that I dearly needed help understanding and processing my partner's condition along with its effects on our relationship, and I return anytime that I am feeling lost and overwhelmed.

You ask if just being there is enough - I wish I knew if it were true for everyone, but my partner has expressed to me many times that just being together has helped him through some difficult moments. When he is experiencing a bad bout of anxiety, or seems completely numb to the world around him, I do my best to get him to a physically safe and comfortable space (sitting on the couch, lying down in bed) and offer a hug, hold his hand, just let him know that I am there for him and that I love him. In the moment, it can be hard to tell if it is helping, but when he is in a calmer state of mind, he has told me that these small acts of care and affection were very good for him. I am sure that every experience is different, and your husband may respond better to other things, or not at all, but I think that your expressing love and letting him release emotionally however he needs to (even with statements about how having a family makes certain things difficult) is the best you can offer him. I am still learning that it is important not to take personally my partner's moods and expressions of stress or anxiety, and of course doing my best to remember to take care of myself and my emotional needs too.

Wishing you the best with everything, it is a balancing act and can be tremendously challenging, but you are not alone.