It seems like much of the guilt is coming from the idea that looking at porn is such a big bad horrible thing.

There are a few different situations brought up in the OPs original post: looking at general pornographic images, looking at amateur photographs of random attractive people on the internet and and then looking at images of a pornographic nature sent privately between two people.

The first two really should be no big deal even if the person is in a commited relationship. I can appreciate how some one looks and still know that I would never approach them or consider engaging with them in any way. The fact that the photo was on the internet and not, say, of a regular person but on his bedroom wall is even more significant.

That he was in a situation where he was talking to girls, felt pulled into the situation with the photo graphs, felt guilty and stopped but then hasn't really done anything since and is still clearly commited to you speaks VOLUMES.

It communicates that maybe he is very young to be in a serious relationship and has probably gone through a lot of growth. It seems like you are subjecting him to a lot of expectations which may actually be unreasonable. You haven't stated any evidence that he is unfaithful, that he is unhealthy in his desire to look at pornographic images, that he lacks moral judgement- with the exception of the incident with the email pictures which happened three years ago, which he admitted to immediately and pretty quickly backed out of. But we all make mistakes and he clearly discoverd for himself that was not a road he wants to go down.

NONE of that is indicative of someone with any kind of pornography addiction or someone who does no want to be commited.

What it is indicative of is a relationship with strong elements of attempted control, lack of freedom, invasion of boundaries and little trust.

it is COMPLETELY inappropriate to look into another person's private communications without their knowledge and permisson. It doesn't matter if you suspect something, if it was three years ago, if you "accidently opened it" and so were there anyway.

If anyone did that to me, I would be absolutely furious and he has every right to be as well.

The fact that he hasn't pitched an absolute fit over that really says a lot about how much he is willing to give to this relationship.

Your demands are high and I urge you to reconsider them before you two are married.