Betty,
I am sorry that this is happening to you. It seems that your advice was taken in a wrong way. I can completely understand why you would have said something and see how you meant nothing by it.
Does your hubby's family know about your past abuse? If they do then maybe I would consider sitting down with this woman and discussing how what has happened to you in the past affected the way that you viewed the situation and that you meant nothing by it.
If they do not, I wish I could recommend telling them, but I do not think it is a good idea. If they became so rude after a off hand remark that was meant well then I do not know how they would handle hearing about your past abuse. I am sorry for that.

Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>