Grew up in a dysfunctional life. Poor as a child and no stable home, amom had several different boyfriends, sexually molested a couple of times, and found out I was adopted at 33. Lost my amom at 41. Have no relatives but my two children. Have few friends that do not live never by. Ex husband was and is still missed up. Never got remarried because I was afraid my kids would be sexually molested. A mom said my birth mom was ugly, however, I have search for several years and spent tons of money and still have no answers. Boyfriend I see mainly on weeksends for 14 years is an alcoholic and makes me feel bad by talking about going to bars and making me feel like he always wants to pick up other women but I'm afraid of getting involved with anyone else because of my past and I've been with him so long. Plus I'm almost 50 and he trys to make me feel old. It's hard to get up and work and try to survive. I feel so alone and helpless I times. I have a hard time thinking because I get so upset. There is so much more I could say but I'm trying to make this short as my last comment disappeared before I was finished.