I agree w/ Web, Something else is going on here. I'm not saying I am like your wife at all. But my H and I used to have sex every weekend. I loved him and that is what I thought I had to do to keep him around. It never dawned on me that i was setting us up for a life long habit of sex at least once a week.

Little did he know, I would cry after sex, almost throw up after sex, and had a real battle rageing inside of me to force myself to have sex every weekend. He had no idea, he thought I wanted to have sex all those times.

I had a history of childhood sexual abuse an rape as a teen that I never told him about. He again just didn't know. We went threw 18 years of him not knowing and countless arguments over sex.

Could something like this be going on here. Did she have sex to keep you because she loved you and now that she has you, well no more reason to put out to keep you. She still loves you but just doesn't put out as a way to show you.

Now that my H does know about the rape and my dislike of sex we do it once every other week. We are in marriage T, and she suggested we just stop doing it and see if that improved the relationship any. It made a huge difference. It forced me to be affectionate out of the bedroom and him to. It was totally up to me when we had sex and he wouldn't pester me for it or suggest it. He had to take care of his own needs. I must warn you, the poor guy he only got it once a month those first 2 months. I still struggle to have sex more them once in two weeks, but I am in the middle of working on rape and childhood sexual abuse.

The T also had me to agree not to have sex if I were going to dissociate during sex. No just being "a sack of flour". I don't have to be an active participant per say but at least stay present and be in the moment.

Just an idea. Each person is different and this might be way off, and I could be totally wrong. It is just another option to consider. I wish you the best of luck with this. I hope you resolve this issues soon.