We mostly have eye contact. A portion of the time when I'm talking about something difficult my eyes slide away for a bit. Or if I'm trying to sort out thoughts in my head before speaking I won't be looking directly at my therapist for those moments either. Recently she noticed we have been doing quite a lot of gazing without words - that's comfortable now, it wouldn't have been a while ago. The other night it struck me how I never do that with my biological mother and maybe that's why our relationship is so jarred, we never really have eye contact while being quiet, and when we do we're both nervous and watchful

With my late mother (who was amazing) we had plenty of eye contact, all the time, when talking and laughing (and arguing!) but also when being quiet and content. Our eyes could just meet and we'd both smile slightly and I would know I was her world, and she'd know she was mine.

I think (for me at least) seeing love reflected back at us in the eyes of somebody special is incredibly important.