Quote:
Originally Posted by tooski
These needs that weren't met at the appropriate time, in childhood, even tho they're valid .... they left a hole that can never be filled. That train has left the station, as my T puts it, rather coldly, I think.
Your T can never fill that void, or anyone else. Because it's too late. Our only hope is to recognize what's going on, and be able to accept the love that IS available to us, rather than discarding what we actually have because it's not enough. IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. We need to let go of that unfufillable need and accept what we can get in the here and now.
Sorry if I sound so opinionated. I'm dealing with this in my therapy right now and this is what I'm working on, and my T agrees. And it's damn tough. I'm not at all happy about it, but it feels right. Just wanted to share in case any of this makes sense to you.
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I'm not sure what you mean with this - can you say more? Or anyone else, who kind of gets what this means?
I mean, to me it sounds pretty horrifying that any of us with attachment wounds will never get anything that is enough - and that all we can do is accept it that way?? What does acceptance in this case even mean?
Can we not fill the void and meet the needs ourselves, learning with help from a handpicked selection of trusted others, and therefore truly heal the wound?