hi all
I haven't been logged in for awhile. I got on today because I hit a real low that I cant shake.
So I been reading playing catch up on ya'll . A there is why for, the title !
I wish you all well being , and peace in your life's I do I do

Well as some may remember I took a path to self help . To get my power back. it was working , had a few bad moments everyday , but I guess it's all to soon , and I need real help to deal with it all , the grief the depression .
So ya know my wife past 17 months ago ! we were raising a few grand kids , I had to send else where as I couldn't do it on my own .
Well since I took this road , I had to put her dog down "wifes" he was in such pain. That was hard . I miss him.
Well I met a lady whom I find very wonderful ,she is kind ,very sweet , I want to be with her all the time. We have very parallel lives . The part that is eating me now is she is not in full health , and far away now getting treatment . She isn't going to die or any thing like that . "I hope" ..
it's just that it has brought back such a lonely feeling of memories. some good lots of bad , I mean bad cause of I feel my self slipping away into that dark place again , and I have seen the death bird again pushing pulling me to the dark place again ...... so much for all that nonsense !!

I give my best to all of you I wish you all well
sorry for the selfish ramble.
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