Hi Sparky, just a passing thought but I'm really wondering if you're really giving yourself enough credit for well.........everything??
You have got real interests (and it sounds like talent!), you are pushing yourself, you are pushing past real barriers/obstacles, you are really achieving in some areas, you are trying/have tried different things to help, you sound like you've got great insight, you are pushing for the help you need.............
I'm not for a second saying that the depression and anxiety aren't VERY real for you, but do you think that if you focused a bit more on how well you're actually doing/you've actually done despite the way you've been feeling that might help you just a little bit????
Wondering as well whether you may be putting too high expectations on yourself which may be making it even harder to achieve what you otherwise would have without so high expectations??
Maybe the setting smaller goals and doing some action planning may help in some areas. You do seem to be doing that a bit, but if you can relieve any extra pressure that way........., and count everything you do achieve as a bonus.
Like I said you do have great (make that excellent ) insight though e.g. keeping busy when it helps, fitting in time for relaxing, pacing yourself, aiming for a routine, do you think you could trust in that a little more OR focus a little more on following that, even persevere more along those lines even if it looks like things aren't working too well?
Now this is probably going to be a REALLY stupid question!! But have you tried the more usual strategies for anxiety e.g. deep breathing, relaxation techniques etc??
Anyway this might go nowhere but attaching a couple of links for depression/anxiety IN CASE they may help:
Dealing with Depression: Self-Help & Coping Tips to Overcome Depression
Anxiety UK
The site just for anxiety also has a helpline if it may be useful??
Of course I'm still around though if you want to talk more.
Alison