There are many people in your situation that find college overwhelming. I am so sorry that you are feeling like harming yourself, and suicide. Sounds like Keeprolling was in the same situation as you, maybe talking to your Dean may not be a bad idea.You need to lighten your workload because you dont want to fall behind, so lessening your work would have beneficial effects, until you get back on track. Things don't stay the same, things change and they will for you. You probably can't see that but it will. Best wishes and stay safe.