This is not so uncommon, as it just happened to me last night. The only difference is that I'm the female. Here's what helped me through today because of what I opened up to this morning and read in my Recovery Bible: As we come to terms with loss & change, we may blame ourselves, our Higher Power, or others. The person may be connected to the loss, or he or she may be an innocent bystander. We may hear ourselves say: "If only he would have done that...If I wouldn't have done that...Why didn't God do it differently?..."

We know that blame doesn't help. In recovery, the watchwords are self-responsibility & personal accountability, not blame. Ultimately, surrender & self-responsibility are the only concepts that can move us forward, but to get there we may need to allow ourselves to feel angry and to occasionally indulge in some blaming. It is helpful, in dealing with others, to remember that they, too, may need to go through their angry stage to achieve acceptance.

TO NOT ALLOW OTHERS, OR OURSELVES, TO GO THROUGH ANGER AND BLAME, MAY SLOW DOWN THE GRIEF PROCESS. (Did this in another situation and the grief lasted years. Plan on NOT doing that again)

Trust ourselves and the grief process. We wont stay angry forever. But we may need to get mad for a while as we search over what could have been, to finally accept what is.

I recommend a book titled: 'How to Survive the Loss of a Love' by Melba Colgrove, Ph.D, Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. & Peter McWilliams.

If you want, we can get through this together.
p.s. BE ENCOURAGED. THIS TO SHALL PASS.