I would NOT admit that you have bipolar - while they technically can't fire you, I have no doubt they can figure out some way to get rid of you. The stigma of mental illness is very strong. Bp nurse will tell you that it's very bad in the healthcare field.

Anyway I'm very sorry you're feeling so down. When I am in a depression I feel like complete garbage and think I am the worst teacher ever. I'm always waiting for admin to come In and say yeah, we definitely don't want you here anymore. But then when I am baseline or up, I think I am a total badass teacher...so yeah. Hard to say.

My husband doesn't get it either. The last time I was in a severe depression he threatened to have me committed. He told me to "go back to the hospital and stay there until you're fixed!" Which is impossible but thx Hun. I'm always waiting for the shoe to drop there too...like is this episode going to be the one that drives him away. But eventually it passes as my mood shifts.

Try to be a bit gentler on yourself. You're not a complete loser. The fact that you've had a job for five months shows you must be doing SOMETHING right.