Hello & Welcome, Jagenzwei.
Good. You are welcome to vent. By the way, stick around long enough and you will meet other equine folks here.

Starting with your family of origin and continuing to the present -- there's plenty of fertile ground there for depression to take root.
That's so characteristic of depression... Biochemistry is wonderful, though. I hope you can find a way to manage the depression and press on to success in that field. Does your school offer any free counseling?

Make yourself at home.
Of possible interest: Survivors of Abuse forum