Sometimes, I don't know what my problem is. Some days I can pin it to depression, some days I can pin it to anxiety, some days I can pin it to hormonal cycles that magnify the depression and anxiety. Other days I wonder if its just all become such a habit, like drug addiction, to remain in a....mood.

The thing is, I'm not really laying here with the typical depressive thoughts like "my life sucks, why me, ftw," its more along the lines of nothingness. Everything is just so dulled out.

And I have these moments where I pick up a little momentum to get myself going but it takes little time for the fuel to burn out and I'm right back in the dulled out, screw it, state of mind.

And not to mention, that I think anything and everything, even the simplest of tasks to its untimely death.

"Fold the clothes I tell myself, fold the clothes, fold the clothes. But I stay laying in bed. Then I will say, "I'll pour myself a soda then fold the clothes." So, I pour myself a soda. Then I go lay back down and think about folding the clothes. Then I'll think about philosophy and so forth, then I'll think about folding the clothes again"

Then at the end of the day, "I should have folded the clothes"

A little oddity is, when I stay at a friends, I have less of a problem with this. At least with little things I do. But, I have a weird relationship with said friend which brings on new "thinking" issues. But this friends presence gives me a slight blink of motivation because motivated ambitious qualities rub off on me while im there. Plus he's awesome.