I have worked through forgiving some people. One person I've been able to forgive is my mother. It took a lot of talking, crying, writing, and processing. In fact, it took 3 years in therapy. Finally I got to the point where I wrote my mom a letter. Then I worked on finding the strength to contact her. I met her at a coffee shop and read her the letter. I went there with no expectations. It was no longer about her. Her thoughts, feelings, excuses, response...didn't matter. What mattered was that I was strong enough to love myself and protect myself from her.

The outcome: today my mom is my best friend. Her title is mom, but her role will NEVER be mom. I have split her into two different people. The mother I grew up with is gone. I CHOOSE to have the mother who is my friend in my life. And at any point I can walk away.

As for forgiving myself...I'm not sure...I guess I'm just trying to learn how to be patient with myself.

Forgiveness doesn't usually come easy, but it is well worth the effort if you can achieve it.

Missed the part about not being able to confront the person... The same concept applies...you have to get to the point where you love yourself enough to no longer allow the person to hurt you (even if it's through memories).