Waggiedog....don't hate yourself....I don't hate you and i think you are very lucky to have a dog and the love of a dog....I used to have dogs, but i can't take care of a dog now and i miss having one so badly. Look for something of beauty in the world every day and thank God or nature for putting it there for you....maybe a flower, a cloud in the sky, or the beauty of a tree....you can appreciate something in the world and maybe feel the love of something outside of yourself....then find just one thing in yourself that is good or lovable and maybe you can start to change your thinking. I hope you can little by little help yourself and appreciate your life again. I will hope and pray for you.....