Last week I was hospitalized again because of a vital depression and suicidal ideation. I did not agree with the hospitalization, but the doctor didn't leave me much choice. So this will be part of my life? I hope not.

I wanted to stop avoiding, so refused all hospital options last weeks. For me, this feels like avoiding my responsibilities, my study, my social life, everything. Otherwise, suicide could be avoiding to, or not fixing health problems.

I don't know. I just want to get rid of this AvPD. Stop avoiding. But what am I avoiding and how do I stop it? Pfff.

I hope to find out soon and fix this!