I think we are what we are and cannot truly change that. We can work to make things better, to understand more but to try and think that you can be someone your not is a battle that I think 99.9% will lose. Not to go off topic but I saw a post here in NPD threads regarding Meyers Brigg test. This really made sense and you should take it and see what you come up with. Personalitycafe seems to provide the best direction I have seen so far. I believe that to be better the people you are close with have to understand you as much as that sounds not possible, they do need to have an understanding. If these people cannot do this it will be impossible to work it out to be better for them and most important yourself. These cycles we share are in fact what makes us tick whether up or down it is who we are. I have had and still do just less as time goes on with what you feel. Feeling back and forth and so on and so on. My wife has come so much more in tune with my issues and this is what has been so helpful to me. Do I still act in ways that are far from proper? I do, but her understanding helps me to see things better. In a way we are all children who need to be shown again and again what's right and wrong. The most important thing is we recogonize our issues and work at becoming better because of that. We are allowed to fall off track and can anything other be expected? Keep moving ahead and as time goes on you will learn more and understand more which I myself still have a extreme amount of time to go. One of my traits which many share is the ease of dropping people. The ones who bring you down, interfere and hold you back I have dropped and will not look back. I am one who can survive alone as my mind is my best friend and at the same time worst enemy. It is what it is, we were made in to this. What we do seconds, minutes, hours and years from now is up to us. Good luck and I understand your thoughts as many others here do as well. Keep in mind that your not alone and let me know your test results with Meyers Brigg.