Sorry to be a pain, but I don't recommend a counselor, but instead CBT with a qualified and experienced psychologist. (that came from my psychologist, when I asked her about counselors for OCD) As for the other stuff:

I don't have HOCD, but I think I used to, or rather, it was an obsession of mine for quite a while. I do, however, have another kind, similar in principle, that is very debilitating.

The "IDGAF" attitude serves to ignore the obsessive thoughts, so as not to make them so prominent in your mind, much like the whole "pink elephant" thing, if you're familiar with it. So, in theory, you should improve, over time, by not giving those thoughts the attention they so desperately want. Unfortunately, you're probably not tackling the core beliefs that got you into this way in the first place, which is where CBT comes in.

To you asking whether you will ever returned back to normal? Honestly, I don't think anyone can answer that, at least nobody here, and likely no professional. As I understand it, also based on what my psychologist told me: OCD can be very unpredictable - some people with go through CBT and have it be life-changing for them, after which they go back to their normal lives, and are quite happy. Some people, however, like me, do get something from it, but are by no means "fixed".

The fact that you've never been in a relationship with a female, is simply wood to put on the fire, for your OCD. I know the score, because I regularly go there, and have done for over ten years. The unknown is never good, when it comes to OCD, because that just feeds your imagination and thus your fears. You need to accept the unknown. I've never been in a relationship with a dude, so does that mean I could be gay? No, of course it doesn't; it simply means I've never been in a relationship with a dude. By that same merit, you've never been in a relationship with a woman, but that doesn't mean you're gay; it simply means that you've never been in a relationship with a woman.

The whole roleplay thing is another typical OCD aspect, or at least, typical in this particular area, as you're basically "testing" yourself, which isn't exactly far from "checking", an obsession with which I'm sure you're familiar. Now you know why you did that.

I've had OCD since I was about 10 years old. Nobody recognised the (rather obvious) signs, and it only developed over the years, getting much, much worse, until it became debilitating with relationships, friendships, family, going out, work, etc.

Point is, you likely had the early beginnings of OCD starting on, back then. I suspect that at some point in your young life (or whenever that time was) you were either teased for being "gay" (typical insult at school, I find) or had particularly strong values towards sexuality taught by your parent(s), thus instilling a fear and a belief that being "gay" is "wrong".

I'm certain you feel that being gay is a bad thing, else you wouldn't be here in the first place - don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you're homophobic, or a bad person as a result of such beliefs, as that's something entirely different, ... I'm saying that the prospect alone of being "gay" is against your core beliefs so much that it causes conflict, and that conflict masquerades in the form of obsessions and compulsions. I may have some of that a little off, but for the most part, I stole stuff from my psychologist and stuff I've read up on, over the years.

Hope that helped your understanding.

Have you ever tried CBT? I really recommend it, especially while you have this "IDGAF" attitude.