it is important that you get help but it is difficult ansering your question not knowing how the team has let you down in the past. it is obvious that you want to reach out for help from your post...can you tell the cpn that you really need help? emphasize that you find it difficult to trust her...again this is hard because I don't know what they did to let you down or what you have tried to explain that they don't understand. but if you have a plan, it sounds like you need to go inpatient to sort things out. it is something you need to tell them so they can get you the proper help. it sounds like you really want it. you can pm me if you want to discuss this more and maybe I can help you sort it out. take care.