I ate a container of ice cream last nite - EDDY's very vanilla - what a 1.75 qt.. maybe I'm wrong on the size. I do know that my tounge feels permenantly numb and raw. I also ate 2 cake mixes - vanilla - mix them up with milk - no eggs and ate them uncooked. then I ate a container of ready made frosting...

I don't feel better, I feel more depressed then ever. I feel that my life will never be "right" or "free".

My T talked about losing weight - I almost laughed. to do that I would have to stop binging, use my sleep apena machine, get off paxil and become active ignoring my pain from the fibrom. plus get over my severe anxiety of being slender again. all this while managing my asthma and my lack of being able to breathe.

Can we all say mircle??? like maybe a 5 percent chance of me pulling that off? can we say years of work to do that?

Can we say absolutely no support in my life?

Paxil, I've tried 5 times - withdrawal is very severe for me... am I willing to try again??? yes... but it will be a very long process...

This T is new to me and I repect him. However, for the first time in my life I''m trying to be realistic. I don't want to live for dreams anymore. I don't want to live for that tiny ray of hope that represents a 5 percent chance of making it.

I've made my peace with the world. I don't believe that ED can be cured or even controlled anymore. Perhaps if your ED stems from wanting to look good - perhaps. But if your ED is from "fixing" what is wrong with your life - then no.

Some people are unfixable.