Maybe it is faulty thinking - to think that everyone is out to get you? That just does not seem reasonable nor logical. So, I doubt that everybody is out to get you. When you describe years of lies, then it seems understandable that you'd feel defensive. Sounds like you are enhancing your self-awareness as you reflect on your relationships and the importance of certain people in your life. Hopefully, your counselor is helpful over time. And it's disappointing that your family doesn't include your partners.