I am just mortified and embarrassed at my recent behaviour at the ending of a relationship, he officially ended it.....of course I threatened to break up with him everyday throughout our entire relationship.......

The worst part is I continue to see him even though he is dating other people. That is the embarrassing part. I can't get my **** together and end a relationship decently with some respect for myself. I really feel awful about continuing to see him but he'll send me a sweet text and I'll just forgive him and run right back.....just when he needs me. I call it "soothing" myself, I think I stole that word from some DBT literature I read. No one in my life/friends/family are giving me heck about this and I think I need some.

I am supposed to hang out with him tomorrow and it doesn't seem right. I really need to figure this out soon because I can see myself just getting more and more hurt if it continues on. Why would I do that to myself? I know he is bad for me. In Linehans book she clearly says that BPD's do best in stable caring relationships. This is not one.

Anyone have any thoughts or experience with this awful path that I still seem to be going down? Is this common with others? I would appreciate your stories or experiences.