This is the first time I do this, I am glad I found a place where I can write about myself and my issues, seeking advice desperately. I have several issues and some of them I think I know what they are. Just to give you examples:
- I don't take the train to avoid people , most of the time I take taxis to and back from work. I don't go to lunch. See I am from country X and I came to this country L 14 years ago as a student. Then I started to work and then I met an L lady got married and have two daughters, I can't afford to get depressed but I want to go back to X but I have bought an apartment with huge loan, which makes it difficult to go back and more importantly my L wife doesn't want to go back with me.
When I first came to L people were nice very polite and enjoyed the first years but now with economic crisis stress levels are hyper and now people here are very xenophobic, where ever I go I suffer from the mistreatment of people, trains, banks, everywhere. So I rather avoid goon outside , specially with my kids now who are getting bigger and can notice.
- so this situation pushes me to drink.
To overeat.
- I take Xanax wypax, meilax to help my anxiety, but it makes me weak and then I underperform at work.
- I have had many bad experiences in L and I see people from L as a cruel race. But this conflicts because I love my L wife.
- I have no friends no one to talk to like this what should I do.

I suffer from:
Depression
Anxiety
Panic attack
Pain

I'm 38 and I wonder if Ivan make I by the age of 60.

I'm not a bad guy, I work hard, I follow the rules and I don't do things bad to anyone, why do I have to suffer so much?








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