Hi Teafortwo,
I don't know. He sounds like a bummer. Can you humor him in respectful kind of way?
I lived with a room mate like that and she made me crazy. I had to stay away from her. But you can do that with a roommate-it's not so easy with your husband.
Humoring him is the only thing I can think of. Sometimes grumpy can be kind of cute if you look at it in a certain direction. Sort of like the King of Siam in The King and I. He was very grumpy but kind of cute and cuddly. You think?
I know this probably wasn't very helpful but I hope you find a way to live with him and still function as a happy person.