I'm sure people who co parent need to be civil. But for the most part wanting to remain friends is denial that the marriage is dead. I know this because I wanted to remain friends with mine. He was willing to be friends but never called. Never bothered with me. I realize I wasn't ready to admit he didn't love me anymore. I had a bad depressive episode after the divorce but still couldn't see it was my inability to let go. After many months I couldn't shake this undefined sadness. It kept haunting me. I finally got it. It was over. The grieving began and it was and still is brutal. I wrote him a letter last night letting him know how destructive his behavior was in my life and that I was better than that, etc. He won't want to be friends when he reads this, leaving no doubt in my mind that he may come back or its over.

I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that divorce could be so devastating. But it is. I feel deeply for all here who are struggling. Don't put off the grieving process. You can't avoid it. It will chase you down until you face it. Then you have to start accepting the unacceptable.