A therapist once told me that it can be very therapeutic to write a letter that you do not necessarily send. For fraiser, sending the letter that she wrote make work. I don't know. Maybe she can let us know how that turns out. Maybe it will help her move on.

For some, though, writing a letter can be cathartic and can help one to organize one's thoughts, even it the letter never leaves your hand. I would caution strongly against actually mailing a letter like this to an ex who was guilty of true domestic violence. Any cop will tell you that, if you want someone to leave you alone, then you have to leave that someone alone. Once, I considered getting an order of protection against someone. Police emphasized to me that it would put an obligation on me to stay away from the person who I wanted kept away from me. I was actually surprised to learn that. 30 seconds of thinking showed me how that did make sense.

If you have to be communicating with your ex because of the both of you having parental rights to co-parent, then keep it cool and businesslike. Resist the urge to pour out your heart to your ex who was abusing you. You've already done that more than enough. You've had 14 years of that. Don't keep hitting your head against a brick wall. As the saying goes, "Don't flog a dead horse." The relationship is dead. Don't hang around the graveyard.