I can feel depression coming on strong every fall it starts like the 1st of November & is in full force by TurkeyDay and last till like around now February.
This year I was determined not to go to that dark blue place,

I even told my grown child I was gonna try and keep busy so loneliness wouldn't set. We don't spend holidays together (they live in another state) so I generally work holidays or holidollars as I call them. It's a god awful feeling of 'not being missed', or 'being expected' when you live alone. It's just not natural to spend long periods of time alone, a co-worker said she likes it, so I stay away from her.

I usually start crying when I get off work at night walking to the emp parking lot, cause i'm coming home to no one & if I didn't make it home no one would know. I told my child I was gonna get one of those alarms she got upset, I told her age has nothing to do with it. I just don't want to die alone in my house and rot B4 someone realizes I dead. Oh god that sounds morbid I'd better stop, anyway It's February holiday family crap is over, I can go back to being anonymous
Goodbye