Aw, hon, you are NOT a loser---not by a long shot! I wish I could hug you in person because I know exactly how it feels to be a healthcare professional with bipolar disorder, and in most ways it SUCKS. I still cannot believe how judgmental medical people can be towards MI individuals.....especially other medical people.

If you've managed to avoid discussing your illness with your managers and co-workers, keep up the good work! They cannot legally fire you for being BP, but they can trump up other reasons to get rid of you without incurring trouble with the Americans with Disabilities Act. It happened to me last year when I had the mother of all mixed episodes that caused my pdoc to take me out of work for over 3 weeks. He didn't want me to go back there at all but (reluctantly) gave me the go-ahead, and I promptly fell apart again.

When they let me go it was a relief, although I was very, very angry and even more humiliated. And yes, I felt like a loser. I've always had problems with jobs, but at my level (I was a director of nursing) it's really embarrassing. I am supposed to be a professional---polished, smart, always appropriate---and there are times when my brain totally $#!+s the bed and I act like a crazy woman. Which I am, I guess.

But I'm NOT a loser, and neither are you. We have a mental illness that disrupts our lives and makes it harder for us to do what 'normal' people do without thinking, but we're not losers. Don't let your husband beat you up about it either....he is not being helpful and you don't deserve to be treated like this.