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Originally Posted by confusedone963
hello everyone, please help...im having really bad issues with myself as of lately and i feel completley sick to my stomach and feel like throwing up! im extremely anxious bc of this and my mind wont stop racing bc i think ive turned sick...Anyways..im a 24 yr female and i've always had rape fantasies, and a fantasy of being young and molested...what gets me off/turned on in these fantasies is the rapist's/molester's arousal, and how perverted he is and how bad he wants to have his way with me to fulfill his sick perverted needs.... but the thing that scares me the most, is that i sometimes get in the "rapists head" and i am that rapist..i start to think, well wat is really getting this man off? oh i know, the fact that shes young and tight and that must feel amazing for him...i get off on THAT. that turns me on. not the actual sex with a woman or a child bc iam not sexually attracted to either, and i am completley REPULSED! about sex with children..i feel sick right now for real and i feel like crying just writing this!! wat does this mean? does this mean im a pedo? in the fantasies of molestation its me who is getting molested..but i have read taboo stories about daddy/daughter (not into incest what so ever ewwww!) just for the molestation aspect of the story, such as him coming into the girls bedroom at night etc. and i masturbate to the girl in the story about her being young and tight and how that satisfies him...sorry if i offended anyone in anyway with my graphic details, but is this normal?? the "getting into the rapist's head" aspect? please help and plz dont be too harsh on me..i dont want to feel more depressed, but i do want honest non-attack answers. do people do this? bc ive been doing endless research online to see if there are other females who take on the role of the male and came accross nothing and im scared out of my mind!!
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I know what this is exactly like, I am a 20 year old male was molested and raped as a child many times growing up. The thing that sets me apart to know this exactly. It's a female desire to want intimacy over the sex, like you described you don't want the sex more repulsed by it and confused of these feelings and fantasies, because you just described it on the mark of what I go through with me. You want to feel sexy, wanted, cherished, and in a world where you can be free and appreciated that your sexuality isn't binding you in chains(not a bdsm reference), but you can have your fantasies not rule your life, because you are hoping one day and so on it will go away from earning what your heart truly desires. Mine is the same, bout me except a girl I am in love with or dating etc, is getting off cheating on me from being raped by some other man and telling me I am nothing. It's exactly what I go through just in different format. I feel ya brah I truly do. Dem feels be killin me today. I'm glad you posted this, because I finally had the opportunity to tell people who know the feeling what it means truly. I can see it very clear what you were trying to say. Thankyou goodluck