I'm there with you...

Having gone through some martial counseling. I did all the dishes and my spouse would always nag if there was soap accidentally left on the a dish. Sometimes she would claim that a she could taste the dishsoap on a cup.

The counselor suggested that I leave her plate out separate from the rest of what was set on the table, and let her know that her plate is all set for her to rinse as she pleases.

Anyways, I always tried my hardest to provide for our family and did many chores.

I often had thoughts about not rinsing the dishes at all or putting dry clean only clothes in the wash. Just to prove a point. I never did...

Anyway, there wasn't much that was ever good enough. Vehicles, clothes, house, etc.

I'm not sure I've given any advice...

Keep to the high road and try not to sink to the levels I had thoughts about.

Not sure if this helps, but I found it humorous in an odd sort of way.