My therapist made chaos in my head.
I asked him- Would you like to be kissed by me?
He said- I think you are a good kisser. [it's not yes and it's not no]
When I started to kiss him, he said- I don't want you to kiss me.
After that I told him- So you don't want to be kissed by me.
He said- I didn't say so. I said I don't want to cross my boundaries.
I asked why.
He said- I don't want to hurt you, it will destroy therapy. We coudn't control ourselves.
I asked- we? Did you mean- me?
He said- Yes, you too.
I asked- So you too?
He didn't answered.
I asked him- Have you ever imagined that you are having sex with me?
He said- I can't answer, I will cross the line if I tell you.
I said- Please tell me that you don't want me in your bed.
He said- I can't tell you nothing about it.
I just can't understand it all. Sometimes it sounds like he wants me but maybe it's just my illusions.
I asked him so may times to tell me that he doesn't want me but he doesn't say it. Is it normal?
I think he must tell me the true. I'm afraid of illusions.
Please don't say he is a bad therapist and I must leave him, I want to know what's going on with us. I just can't understand him.
I think that we must talk openly to each other.
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