So, my grandpa died 9 years ago, but I still feel a little upset about it. I still have uncontrollable thoughts about missing him. I feel angry at him for leaving me, even though I know that it wasn't his choice. I avoid thinking about him because it just makes me upset. I was in the room and watching when he dies, so I don't think that I'll ever forget the moment. I avoid looking at pictures of him when possible. Most of the memories I have of him are too painful to think about. I don't know if this is PTSD but I thought I would post it here.