Aw, sweetie, that's okay. Aren't we ALL like that in some way? I always find myself re-running conversations with people and coming up with extremely witty/snarky/mean(not that I would actually BE mean)/rude (same thing) replies. But - and here's the big thing I wanted to tell you - this tendency actually DOES HAVE A PLUS SIDE HERE: since we do tend to do this (run conversations thru over & over in our heads), there will invariably come a time when you will do it BEFORE you have those conversations too. As in, 'Okay.... if I say this, and he replies with THAT... then I could say... (fill in the blank with whatever brilliant reply you can imagine here)"

I have actually done this a time or two. Well, probably way more than that but the few times I've done it I was so STUNNED by my total success that that's all I can remember!! For instance, once when my husband & I had been arguing over something stupid (I can't remember what - an extremely common occurrence, unfortunately) I was driving home and going over what I wanted to talk to him about. I "pre-played" what I though he was going to say to me in my head & came up with about 10 different things. And, wouldn't you know it, nifty little debate team member that I was, I came up with about 10 wonderful comebacks that absolutely TROUNCED whatever it was he might say.

And guess what? IT WORKED. PERFECTLY.

Now, we're talking a big, arrogant, control-freak kind'a guy. One who always HAS to have control of any conversation and, of course, he has to have the last word. So, for me to already have things figured out ahead of time, deliver my words in a calm, concise manner with a practiced ease just completely took all the wind out of his sails. He just stood there speechless. And, for once, he actually LISTENED to what I had to say. He had to - there was no choice (he couldn't say anything!) It was AMAZING.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say to you is this: if you get so flustered by the thought of talking to new people or strangers or whatever, then just try that little "pre-play" conversation technique I was talking about. Run through a dozen different type of scenarios that could happen: you could talk about the headline in that day's newspaper; the price of gas; the weather (EVERYONE can talk about that one); notice something he/she is wearing or carrying and comment on it; compliment them on something (just make sure it is a genuine compliment - I try to say something really nice about a woman's nails or hair, for instance, if I notice she takes particular care with that); ask them for directions to somewhere (even if you already know); ask them if they know a good restaurant to eat at.... The list is endless. On the whole, most people are friendly, want to help and love to talk about themselves if you just give them a chance. But you just might have to be the one to make the first move to approach them & break the ice. It's not that they don't like you or don't want to have a conversation with you at all.

Just remember that it's like that old saying about animals, "They're just as scare of us as we are of them!"

Good luck to you. I know it's hard. I have some huge struggles myself, they are just in different areas. Maybe you can help me with those!