I've been feeling super stressed out lately. And it all stems from money issues. I'm stressed from school, home, relationships, everything.

Before I lay it all out, let me give a little bit of background info. I am 17 years old. I grew up in a happy, carefree household. Everything seemed perfect. Then, I moved to another state when I was 10 years old. I use that move as the divider between my childhood and my adulthood (even though I was only 10 at the time), because following that move, everything went downhill. My mental health issues began to show symptoms, I began having trouble in school and in relationships, and it just kept getting worse.

I am adopted and I've always had some abandonment issues. My therapist and I recently have concluded that there is a connection between my adoption and my abandonment issues and the anger I have toward my adoptive parents. It triggers this anger inside me when people who should be there for me aren't there- my birth parents for not being there to raise me, my adoptive parents for not meeting my needs (mental health wise- I was sent to a hospital for OCD last year, financially- money is tight, etc.)

So the most recent issue that's been stressing me out is related to things I want. I know this is going to come off as sounding really spoiled but I can't explain it any other way. Before we moved, the family was very well off. We took vacations and traveled, we rented a beach house in the summer, I would go shopping with my mom all the time (I loved clothes and toys and she would buy what I wanted), I would go get manicures and pedicures regularly (even though I was only 10). We went out to eat and to shows and to amusement parks. There wasn't any worry about money.

When we moved, it really stressed me out. My parents hadn't previously talked about money a lot, and when they did, they only talked about the good side of it (e.g. how big of a bonus employees got that year during the holidays). After the moved, I began to feel the financial strain. I wasn't used to being told "no" when I asked for something, as bratty as that sounds, and it was a real weird thing to constantly be told "no, that's too expensive". I adjusted to it, because as I grew up, I realized that most of my friends didn't get everything they wanted and I understood that I didn't need to have ten billion stuffed animals to be happy. But it's been getting increasingly worse. It used to be "wait until the end of the month and then we can get that for you". Now, it's "that snack is too expensive." It's not even material things anymore. It's stuff like food. Junk food. But still food. Something I always viewed as a necessity and would never be out of my reach. If that makes sense.

Today, I got into a huge fight with my mom because I asked her when we were going to do a big grocery run and why we never do them anymore (I mean, we go to the grocery store, but it's not like those days when we would go and get like 250$ of groceries. She blew up at me saying, "since you really want to know, we can't afford it right now. We are tired of putting things on credit cards and we are trying to live within our means." I in turn, got angry and said, "it just keeps getting worse! We keep cutting back and cutting back. If it's so bad, then why isn't anyone doing anything about it?" I know that was rude of me and I shouldn't have said that. But I've been stressed about the family's finances for a while. It keeps getting more and more budgeted and it's to the point where we can't go to the grocery store? If we can't live off the income we are getting, why isn't anyone getting a better paying job? I know it's not that easy, but at what point is something going to change? And as you can probably imagine, things between me and her just went downhill from there.

That being said, I have dealt with some severe OCD. And OCD symptoms get worse under stress. I can feel symptoms beginning to rear up. That scares me. I am stressed because I don't want to tell my therapist about it. It's another story completely but I don't like my therapist. I like my old one. I am going back to the old one once the school year ends. If I bring up my issues now, I am afraid that transition is going to be postponed. So I don't have anyone to talk about my OCD with.

I am stressed at school. I also have ADHD. I recently switched my medication from brand name to generic because it was cheaper. See? Another money thing. It isn't effective and I'm falling behind in school. I am super confused and lost in many of my classes. I don't know what to do because I don't think my parents will want me to go back on the brand name now that they know there is a cheaper version. I also go to a private high school that costs $25,000+ a year. I am only there with the help of financial aid and scholarship money. I am surrounded by rich girls. I feel like constant pressure to maintain this persona of someone who fits in. Who can talk about shoes and clothing brands and boy drama. It's getting so hard to fit in.

I'm stressed because of swimming. I swim competitively and the deal was I would pay for part of the participation fees. I have no job and I have no source of income. My parents keep telling me to get a job because they want me to pay up. I have applied for two jobs and am waiting to hear back. I don't know what else to do. My parents keep pulling the "well if you had a job, you could pay for that" card every time I ask for something now. That stresses me out and makes me angry.

I'm stressed because of driving. My parents want me to take my drivers test. But drivers ed costs about 700$. I want to drive. But they always talk about how short money is. I don't know what to do. Then they get mad at me for not being more motivated to take my test and "get more independent".

See? Stress is everywhere. I don't like how my parents have made all of their financial problems my problems. It shouldn't affect me. I don't think it's a good thing for a parent to let their child know about financial issues. The child can't do anything about it. It stresses me out. I feel really triggered after today's argument because I feel like my parent's job is to provide for me and let me deal with the stresses of being a high schooler and a kid my age. Not burden me with their monetary issues.

I guess my question for all of you out there. If you're a parent, do you talk to your kids about the financial status or not? If you were to, or do, how do you approach it? I'm feeling affected by it all and I don't know how to respond. I just need some advice... Thanks...