I have felt increasingly more depressed since my brother died. I have gone from a family of 5 when I was young to a family of 3 now. My father passed away decades ago. And my mother is quite elderly. My only other sibling who is alive can be very mean. So I always must pretend everything is just fine. Otherwise he might get very angry.

I miss my brother. He was unusually kind and caring and good. The best of us all. And now he is gone. And I do not know when the next one will leave. So I have been very depressed. I cannot be there for people right now. Which is hard because some people want that. I am fuzzy and I sleep. Just depressed