During my college I had some guys as my roommates. Those days we didn’t have much money so there wasn’t any hope of selecting my roommate. I am from a village, away from much of today’s modernity and pomp. They were from cities and that was the crux of the problem. I didn’t know much of the things they did. I am so ashamed to say I didn’t even know how to use an ATM then, as the place where I am from was so backward, you wouldn’t believe though. Seriously the city life had charmed me. And I had new needs, like getting a girlfriend, flaunting modern clothes etc. I was brought up in a vegetarian, calm home, compared to my roomies, so I had an issue with their swearing which I never did like.
They thought about me as an uncivilized guy, unhygienic, not fashionable and naïve. I think they tried to civilize me too but I didn’t have the daring to resist them. They made fun of me, mocked me, belittled me, draining the last drop of confidence from me. It was a kind of slavery but 2 years ago I finished my college and I cut off all contacts abruptly with them. I never had any friends so my face book and phone number was filled with unnecessary people. I deleted my FB, Gmail, everything and brought a new phone with a new simcard.
I have always asked myself that am I scared of these people? I think no, because they have no influence over me but a part of me fills with grief over some incidents
1. I never drank or smoke before I started living with them. So one day I drank too much and fell unconscious during a classmate’s party. Then they came to rescue me and they have always said it was them without who I would have even died. They always treated me as a silly guy and made fun of me. I guess if I remained in contact with them they would treat me in that way.
2. I would always think what would happen if I meet any of them. For example if I am travelling alone in a train and suddenly one of them would come and abuse me for not contacting them and being an ingrate. What should I say? I don’t know. It is an imaginary fear I know.
I am in a process of analyzing myself that’s why I have been posting here. I don’t need advices but I need your opinions. What would you have done if you were me or what do you assume to do by reading this.
Thank you for reading
Have a nice day