He even rejected me physically when I kissed him.
And after many times of hugging he rejected me physically when I hugged him.

So- where is the problem just say it in words?
He always says- I did it because I don't want to cross the line. (He thinks that even hugs are something forbidden).

I'm so tired of it all. I just want to know the truth. But sometimes I'm too tired of even thinking about it.

I hope he is not reading all this sick information I post here.
I feel guilty. Maybe I'm doing wrong of talking about this things here...