To reiterate what has already been said, your T is rejecting you because he is not legally or ethically allowed to do anything with you. Your relationship with him has already stopped being therapeutic and now appears to be an attraction that is exciting and somewhat addictive for you. I know how that feels and it is of course hard to stop, but you know you have to. You say you don't want anyone to tell you to stop seeing him, so I'm not sure what exactly you are looking for us to say. He is not a good T, if he were he would have not have let this get so out of hand. You are the one who needs to take control of the situation, because I hate to say this, but it will only get worse and you will be the one to suffer the most.