Had a final marriage counseling session tonight. I have had depression most of my life. I have taken responsibility in my contributing to our marriage failing. We have been separated for over a year now. He is a chronic liar, a cheat, been verbally and physically abusive and has used me. So you're wondering why would I have waited so long.
I was so low in my own self esteem, I was already rejected as a child and chose a partner that began putting me down. He lost interest. I had no desire to live and was completely dependent on him. I finally got help and got my own place. I wanted counseling, because of our son being in the middle of arguments, he was willing. He still verbally abused me.
He had an affair. We went to a counselor again, I forgave him, asked him for honesty, that's all I wanted. I wanted to at least be on friendly terms with him. I can say I have learned how to do that now. But he lied this year during our last 8 counseling sessions of which I paid more than half. I'm done. I'm done being used. He doesn't think he used me, and even made a comment a while ago "I fed your a@@ for years"...can anybody verify for me he is not worth my time and he really does not deserve me and tell me I can make it on my own? I still suffer with deep depression, and I'm a little scared to think of life alone. thanks for reading, any hugs or advice of any kind appreciated.