No, I can't understand your dilemma. Do you seriously believe that PIV (penis in vagina) is so different from what you have experienced that you can call yourself a virgin? I mean, PIV is different in that it has the baby making potential. Other than that, it is just one of many types of being sexual with a woman. You need to stop calling yourself a virgin, because you have been sexual with a handful of ladies. You need to stop calling yourself impotent, because you are not. The only truthful depictor of you, from the title of the thread, is that you are 30. Be truthful with yourself (I am starting to sound as if I had come from Pinocchio ) and then you wouldn't be growing a large stiff long nose, but instead will experience the sought after stiffness in the right place at the right time.

Also, Christian dogma is no excuse. You're 30 years old and are responsible for how you think. Don't cite your beliefs - had you truly adhered to them, you would really abstained from sex until marriage. I can't believe that you don't realize that what you yourself dubbed your sexual experience is somehow exempt from being considered sexual and that you still qualify as a virgin, even if modified by "technical". Also, if you do not treat Christian beliefs dogmatically, the way you are, but rather think about what sensible ideas might be behind Christian teachings, you would realize that people who willingly wait until marriage do so not out of a superstitious fear that they would otherwise be damned, and, not because they believe that that will guarantee them a special experience (almost as dogs waiting for treats in an obedience school), but because they genuinely want to share ALL of their first mutual sexual experiences with their spouse. This is called saving yourself for marriage. You have not done it, already, and there is no coming back, unless you think that your future wife - provided that she will be of the save yourself until marriage persuasion, which remains to be seen - will accept that your sexual rendezvous with almost 10 ladies have all been your patiently saving yourself until marriage?

I am not chastising you - from my standpoint, you can do whatever you want. I am trying to show that you li