Yeah it's cool yo, but I'm like just turned 20. I knew bout this in gradeschool even preschool. When I played house with girls. I had like freaking 10 wives here or something. Mostly I said as a kid, I am marrying you you and you. It's so silly when I was younger, and that I know it was a game, but it was much more serious in my head subconsciously. Growing up yeah, I don't like the idea of just loving one person and forced to put it on someone don't know if they deserve it or not and get nothing out of it even if the person is good to me. Like I never cheated, I don't like the thought of it. I avoid it at all costs, because I'd rather have a trusting relationships than just throwing it away for some cooch every now and then. It's so stupid, I have gotten with enough girls and relationships to realize what people think they want and what they truly want is all distorted. I know what I want and desire only just that. I knew it all my life, but I had to closet myself from everyone who says to me I just want a booty call and I'm the type of person that asks too much which isn't true at all. I hate it, I want to be honest to girls I am truly attracted to, but I have to be quiet bout it too, because I know they are more worried bout what others think <family, friends, coworkers etc.> bout them which I understand, but then don't. I get it that you don't want to look like a "slut" to people and really loose when you know you're not. I don't want that image myself and neither do I want my partners. I would cap it at 3 so there isn't a third wheel, just to be fair, but I am just as content with 2 as much as 3. I know when I was in a mono relationship. I always felt sick of myself knowing I'm trapped here. I didn't do anything wrong, but it's not fair to me even if the girl I dated is the hottest chick around to people. It's like people think of things that aren't important say they are for love, but more concerned with self image and insecurity. Like I don't get that, my generation is filled to nothing but insecure people. It drives me mad, I get insecure now, because I can't be open bout myself knowing my mistakes of being open not too casually bout it and being harshly criticized. It's like I really want this, but everyone tells me no no no you're not this you want that and so on. I am going to see my therapist today a new one after a long time not seeing anyone. I get it, I got get my **** together, but jeez I can't even do anything casual without people pulling out the knives and guns thinking people are going to kill them. It's such a waste of time.