To show you that your "logic" is all mired in mud, is foggy, and that what you call your dilemma doesn't exist. You need to face reality, accept it, talk about this reality in terms that are straightforward and not confusing, possibly reassess your religious beliefs in light of your past of non-adherence to their their spirit and rather trying to twist them so that you can view yourself as still adhering to their letter (when you call yourself a technical virgin, you are trying to say that adherence to the letter is enough), possibly ditch your beliefs or, alternatively, commit to waiting for marriage from now on, true to the spirit - meaning that you will stop having sexual encounters until you are wed, and then you will have clarity in your head which certainly wouldn't hurt and may even be beneficial for the subject matter...

Again, I am not chastising you, have no idea which way is right for you, am not saying that you DID or DO anything wrong at all - all I showed is that the way you THINK is faulty. You are the master of your own mind and it is fully in your power to reflect on your experience and describe it truthfully. Unlike PIV, for which you need a woman, speaking truthfully (first and foremost, in your internal thinking) can all be done by you. You aren't impotent!