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Originally Posted by Adespota
Hi Cannibalcutie. I'm sorry no one has responded yet. I don't always come to this site or part of the site so I only just read this. I have to say, I really get where you're coming from, at least on part of it. I always felt I should have been born a male but was assigned female. I can never be a "real" male, and that is a depressing thought to me too. I never got to grow up as a boy or a young man. There are just certain things I'll never have because of it. You know what I mean I'm sure, but just the other way around. There are some things you can get for it, though, but it's a hard road for anyone who travels it. For me, I've decided I want to take the plunge and transition to male, but that's not for everyone. But for me, it's worth it. It sounds like you've found something that kinda works for you. I'm not sure if I have much advice for you relationship wise. It sounds like a hard situation to be in. Maybe the Sexual and Gender Issues section might be more active and they might have something that would help you out. Can I ask if you see a T? They can certainly be really helpful, I know.
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It's funny that you bring up the Sexual and Gender Issues section... I got no real responses there, either. they referred me over here.
I'm gonna assume by 'T' that you means a therapist. No, I am not seeing a therapist. I've had quite few in past years, mostly over depression, anxiety, and self harm issues. I have brought up my sexual views before, I just don't really get a whole lot out of it. Even if I wanted to see one again, I don't really have the time or money to do so. I'm a p/t student with a p/t job.
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Originally Posted by Grey Matter
Firstly, I don't think it's right to get annoyed when a post goes without a response for a few days. It happens. I do my best to come to this section of the website weekly, but I haven't had internet access.
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It's not so much annoyed, as it is that I was saddened. I've been asking for advice on this in various places (not just this website) and am often met with the same thing. I'm not blaming the thread ppl... it's just a frustration that has been very long lived. Sorry if I came off as condescending.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey Matter
That being said, do you feel as though you are female? Or do you feel between both?
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Have you ever had that female friend that refuses to be a priss? The one that is still feminine, but more of the a.ss kikin', assertive woman rather than the traditionally passive and acquiescent type? I guess that's how I feel. I think it throws a lot of people off. A lot of it I think has to do with the metal/goth/punk subcultures that I identify with. Femininity has a rebellion here that I can relate to. Regardless of the obscurity of how I identify, I have a small handful of friends and acquaintances that repeatedly tell me, "you're such a girl!" due to my mannerisms or reactions to certain situations. But in truth, I think I only have two friends that give a legitimate effort to try and treat me that way. I think I
used to fluctuate between feeling male or female, but as the years have gone on I think I have settled more comfortably into my femininity. I think I have reached the point where the only thing left as a barrier is my physical self, and that is what irks me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey Matter
There is a word for nearly every gender identification, as it is a spectrum. And you're certainly not alone in this. I cannot say I understand completely. I am a genderqueer person (I dress androgynous. Many people do not know if I am male or female, and I am more comfortable that way. Mentally, I am neither) so I (and this isn't for EVERY GQ person some DO feel as you're feeling) can't say I have gone through the same experiences, or pains as you have.
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Yeah, I've heard a lot of different categorizations. Genderqueer, genderfluid, heteroflexible, pansexual... etc. I understand that this helps a lot of people to identify themselves. Me, personally, I'm not too concerned over finding a name to my sexual status.I know who I am, I know what I want, and I know how I want it. It is the attainment of all that that is my problem. Call it what you will, it doesn't make much of a difference to me.
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Originally Posted by Grey Matter
Have you tried looking online for support groups within the LGBTQ* community? That can be your first step to really gaining a solid foundation for yourself.
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I have, a bit. I only really seem to get results for dating sites or different types of porn sites. I've tried finding local groups and despite that this is a college town and this state has legalized gay marriage, I really haven't come across much. However, I also don't really know how or where to look. Besides using the internet as a starting point i.e. search engines, I don't really know
how or
where to look for these things.
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Originally Posted by Bill3
It sounds like your view is that gender reassignment could not actually make you a girl. Still, another way to look at it, a way that may or may not work for you, is to observe that it could make you closer to a girl life than what you have now. What is your thinking about the possibility of gender reassignment?
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Gender reassignment is surgery and hormones, right? The hormones I wouldn't have so much an issue with. I've thought about it as a good way to make myself more feminized. But I have been warned by people that have gone through it. I've been told it can really mess with your head and that there are other health risks involved.
As far as surgery, It just isn't real enough for me to even consider it (if just on an aesthetic basis). I've seen the vaginoplasty work done on high end porn stars, and you can still tell it's fake. I figure that if anyone had the money to get top of the line work, it would be them and it just wouldn't be real enough for me to consider. It just doesn't look quite right, you know? Although the though of having things being permanently tucked away down there is very appealing, I'm kind of a 'do it right, or not at all' type of person. Unless they have come up with a way to transplant the whole enchilada >uterus, tubes, ovaries, vaginal canal, labia, clitoris< I'm not down for it. This is of course with total disregard to finances. Like I have stated earlier in this post, I'm a p/t student. I also have a p/t job. Even if I wanted to, surgeries, hormone therapy, and therapists aren't in the budget.