Okay so I want to talk about this with people who deal with it.

I read like online all my little research. WTH are disorganized thoughts? I don't seem to have a lot of disorganized speech, just some. Like pressured speech, no big deal. Or for example some blocking. I just lose words out of my head mid-sentance. And I think I ramble, and there's one disorganized speech thing about rambling, I can't remember. But... really, no big deal.

But, what about forgetting? Does that count? Forgetting what I was doing or why, or what people say. Or what about checking, re-check, and re-re-checking things and still getting them wrong. (I just did this with the taxes, not a good place.) Or, like the thing where I can't write the time right any more. Or suddenly I can't spell. Or it takes me forever to figure out where to "click" on the screen for things, or I am trying to click the home button but I keep clicking print. (These are things I never had problems with before.) Or not being able to keep a clean desk, because I can't figure out where things go, even if it seems logical where they should go...

I mean, yeah sure, that's executive function. But is it disorganized thinking? I mean, I try to do things and spin around at my desk. I forget what order a folder for class is put together. Folders I make hundreds of them every year for 6 years, suddenly I forget how. What?

Anyway... I'm going manic I think. But this is bugging me. I want to ask the people who actually know (you know, you guys who lives with this stuff.) I feel like a big stupid crazy lumbering elephant right now and I hate it.