I think I'm feeling the other symptoms of depression more strongly now that the suicide obsession is greatly reduced. Fatigue especially. I'm pretty healthy, just made it back into my weight range - although that wasn't the healthiest way. I regularly take walks and don't get tired at all, I feel I could walk on forever at a moderate pace. But now I feel I can't go far at all, and like I always need more sleep after being up a few hours, which isn't normal for me when I'm getting enough sleep as I am.

Everything seems like way too much for me now. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle the courses this Fall, and I have so much work to do now just to set it up to go at all. (But I can't hold off on college, because I have to live away from my mother, and this is the only way I can.) And I'm very afraid of peer relationships. I have at least 3 people I could try building a friendship with, but it scares me too much to try anything one-on-one. A group is safe... but not one-on-one...

And my mother. I tried making the topic of counseling and anything related off-limits, but she stated she would talk about whatever she wanted. So I state that she'll have to expect me to walk away or not listen, and know it's not to be rude. So she says something about that being a horrible way to treat my mother. And my dad was sitting there, trying to help me reason with mom, but she won't listen at all. And we continue to have such encounters. I'm so sick of it. :-\

This fight with depression is too hard.

<font color=green>____________________________
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.</font color=green> Sounds good...