I had purposes to live but without him nothing makes sence. He is part of my heart, I feel him in my heartbeats, he makes them run so fast, ha makes me alive.

When he rejected me I had a nervous breakdown and I was trying to commit a suicide by cutting myself. That was the most awful day in my life.
But although I was bleeding a lot, I texted him. I didn't call any friends or family, I texted him. I understood I have no where to go. Life is too cold without him.
Finally I got to psychiatrist but he couldn't help me. In the next day I fainted at my workingplace because of losing blood and woke up at hospital bed.
I was really angry when I saw him but at the end of a therapy he hugged me and everything was okay again.
In next session he said that he will never hug me because it's bad (but it's healing!!!) and I fell into my nervous breakdown again sitting and crying all the time in my room, texting him but he never answered and regreting that I am alive.